child with muslim father

Firstly I don't know if this is in write place so sorry if it isn't.

I'm not going to give u my life story but I have a 3yr old daughter with a muslim man I am a non practising catholic we were together for 3 years( I know its haraam) I fell pregnant and everything was fine he was involved but we split up when she was 1yr old and he dissapeared out of her life recently he got in contact and has been visiting her but its not regular and quite often he is letting her down not coming my daughter loves her daddy n she asks for him all the time and it breaks my heart when he doesn't turn up to see her he calls and says sorry n things will change and I've asked him do u love your daughter he says of course and I've said to him if ur nt consistent then walk away from her but he refuses he says she's my child I'm not walking away. He told me when she was born his parents know about her and don't want her around and have told him to stay away( which he hasn't) but I don't believe they do know and think they should know they have a grandaughter? So should I approach his parents and find out for myself? Also is there anything in the quran that says he should not disown her? He doesn't pay child support he hasn't financially helped since we split up should he? Sorry for all the questions am desperate I dnt know what to do I know he loves her but I think his parents don't know n that's why he's doing this my daughter deserves to have him in her life its not her fault he comminted a sin is it? Xx

The Muslim father was not

The Muslim father was not practising if he had a child outside marriage. However, that is another issue. In islam, a Muslim man is reponsible for the childs upbringing and this child under islamic law has to be brought up Muslim. That is why the Quran says marry people of the book ie Christians and Jews if they are chaste and believe in 1 God and do not take partners ie no son of God, trinity but if Muslim women are available, it's better to marry a Muslim. The reason for this is the child will grow up in Islam, whether they follow is up to them but a parent will be questioned after they die if they taught them about religion, God and Islam etc. As you are not Muslim and the father is around or not, it becomes hard for the child to be Muslim.

He has a duty to provide for that child and to give Islamic values to the child. He may or not have told his family as of the sin, may have a wife and family and do not want them to know about his past.

The child is innocent and in Islam this child is sinless and unblameworthy. This man seems to be irresponsible for his actions and not provide for his child.In Islam cutting ties off with family is forbidden. As this is his child, he is committing a sin if he cut ties with her and also for not providing her financially and a religious upbringing.

Hi there, Sorry to hear about

Hi there,

Sorry to hear about your situation. It seems as though the guy is breaking the morals and rules of both Islam and life.

Don't let this idiot smear your view on Islam. If any Muslim has a child outside of marriage - fair enough they've committed a sin -  but why does that mean they should shy away from their duty as a father?

According to some Imams, an 'illegitimate' child who becomes a pious Muslim can be closer to God than other Muslims born inside wedlock, its not their fault!

To be honest, your childs

To be honest, your childs father isn't really much of a Muslim or a Man! He hasn't exactly behaved Islamically so far. I.e, Having a relationship n child out of marriage, etc. If he was in a relationship with you for so long and had good intentions towards you and loved you, then he really should have asked you to convert and then married you. If he had any decency at all, he would have married you and given your child a proper home with mummy and daddy. He seems to lack any morals and responsibility, aswell as any Fear of Allah. This is not the behaviour of a Muslim Man. Guys like this are an insult to Good, proper Muslim Men. In an Islamic country, he could have faced severe punishment for his behaviour.

I feel sorry for you and your innocent child. I also have a young daughter and know how much it hurts when your child misses their father. This man has to take full responsibility for the child and accept her as his child. He has to provide for her financially. He has to help raise her in an Islamic manner. But this mite b difficult, considering this guy aint exactly a practising Muslim in the first place!

Be careful sister. Right now he is too scared to tell his parents and let the community find out he has a child to a Catholic woman out of marriage. But if word gets out, things could get 'ugly'. Guys like him FEAR their parents more than anything and do not want them to find out. They FEAR the community and do not want them to find out, cos it wil giv him and his family a bad name. However guys like him DO NOT FEAR ALLAH !  If his parents were to find out, he mite turn against you and your child, or his family may even tell him to take the child away frpm you or something.

My sister, my advice to you to is this. You have a beautiful daughter. Be grateful to Allah. Try to find out more about Islam and bring yourself and your daughter to Islam. Believe me, you wil get plenty of support from the Muslim community. Let your daughter know in small ways that her daddy can only see her sometimes, but she has you....and you love her more than anything, etc. I'v been through a similar situation with my child, and its really helped her when I'v told her that her daddy wont be around much., but he loves and misses her. A child then doesnt have too many expectations of her father...and it helps them to move on with life, with just u and her.  Its better for the child to have one strong and loving parent at home raising them properly, than to have 2 parents who dont get on , etc.  She is better off without a dad like him who doesn't seem to know anything about Islam anyway!

 As far as the father is concerned, let him see his daughter supervised with you or someone else present. Be amicable for your daughters sake, But please don't have any sort of relationship with him.  Ask him for money for your daughter. If he doesnt pay, then seek legal advice. But as far as expecting anything else from this guy, forget it. He has already shown that he aint much of a man...and certainly only a Muslim by name. So please don't sit and expect him to have any decency, morals etc. 

If you are looking to speak to someone Muslim, Glasgow Central Mosque has a very good English speaking Iman who may be able to advise you. also there is the Amina Muslim Womens helpline. Also there is Al Meezan Centre for Muslim Women which is a great place. and resource for women, and are very welcoming.  You can google to get numbers for these. However if you can;t find them, please ask here and I or someone else wil be happy to help you out.

Salaam  i think you've had

Salaam 

i think you've had some really good advice. I pray god gives you strength to get through this situation. 

If you were to seek support from the Muslim community I think you'd find it very welcoming. 

But remember there are people like your ex in all communities. You and your daughter have maybe been saved from something worse by having him out of your life. God knows best. 

may i know what to do with

may i know what to do with this? how i can fight for my child"s right over his father?

hi im a none muslim woman who

hi im a none muslim woman who had a baby by a muslim man. i want to get married one day to a non muslim man and have more kids. if i do that what will happen to my baby that i had by a muslim man.

Make it formal - report him

Make it formal - report him to the csa

Assalamu alykum this is vey

Assalamu alykum this is vey sad am muslim woman kenyan  with to children the father doesnt support  them in anything at ol and he is saudia arabia married he doenst have any orther children imagine  he is welloff kindly advice the gal is form two n class 5 he doesnt want to look after his kids n 40yrs kindly advive

Yes speak to his parents only

Yes speak to his parents only if you want to marry him but if you just want child support which later does bring in emotional support for the child the follow the law of the land, report him to child support that will be better I believe 

I have a child with a Muslim

I have a child with a Muslim man he's about to have an arranged marriage he says that because we had a child out of marriage he doesn't have to pay and he doesn't have to see him I don't know what to do I just want my child to have his father in his life but he's being really unreasonable he says he doesn't want his wife to find out about csa so he's refusing to pay its really unfair he just wants to forget about him and expects me to leave him alone 

Salaam Sister. Sorry to hear

Salaam Sister. Sorry to hear that your  child's father is insensitive, irresponsible and basically a 'crap ' Muslim.  He obviously hasnt  got a clue about how Islam works n has no fear of Allah. These kind of people forget that one day Allah wil sort them out. Karma catches up with you! I see he is one of those Typical 'Muslim 'guys who has his fun and then pleases mummy n daddy by taking an arranged marriage. Can't belive this still happens after 50 odd years! So many men of indian/pakistani origin started doing this way back in the 50's! 

Anyway although it is a sin for a Muslim to have a child out of marriage. He cannot commit further sin by ignoring that child and not helping to support the child. If he is man enough, then he should see his child, support him.and pay maintenance. That's the correct Islamic way. But to be honest with you, I have seen so many similar situations and sadly these guys don't care about kids they have had with British women. It's as if they don't count! But they would never treat pakistani wife n kids in this way! 

Sister...for more correct advice you can ring one of the mosques n they wld be able to advise you better. Glasgow  Central Mosque, Masjid Al Furqan,( Carrington Street, west end  )or Masjid Al Farooq on Dixon Avenue on the southside wld be a good starting point.

Good luck. This guy sounds like a lost cause, but you never know..he might grow a conscience  one day 

AssamuaAlaikum! I'm very

AssamuaAlaikum!

I'm very sorry to hear that sister. I'm in the same situation with you maybe worst than you. Cause they chose their name and status over their own grandson. I'm willing to marry him for sake of Allah, Islam, his son, for my family to show how beautiful Islam is because I'm a new Muslim I took my Shahada without knowing that I was pregnant. I proposed to him to marry me for sake of Allah and after he marry me he can go ahead marry the woman that his family chose for him. And I don't mind if he will have a second wife, she can be his legal wife she will have all the right over him I wouldn't mind. But they made their decision and he is going back to Pakistan in 2or 3weeks to marry her. I feel guilty and sorry for the woman he us going to marry coz she doesn't know about this and it isn't fair. Insha Allah this will not ruin their family in the future when the truth will uncovered. As I don't the control over my son once he want to know about his father. I've done  everything i could. Insha Allah that woman is very pious that can accept everything at once. Now I'm still very emotional but doing my best to control my emotions coz Insha Allah no post partum depression for me. 

 May Allah forgive us all 

Sorry to hear that your going

Sorry to hear that your going through this but I'm sure a lot of women are going through this to I am going through something like this now with my x husband I've had the worse 9 years of my life being married to him went through a bad divorce and had a daughter with him that he didn't want found out about his wife in Africa the reason I went through a divorce and even though I had custody of are daughter that is now 11 years old she is being forced to learn how to pray in there way if she don't she gets hit it's sad I myself am wondering what I can do for my daughter who don't want to be a Muslim I am a catholic so it's been hard on my daughter. 

My daughter is pregnant by a

My daughter is pregnant by a Muslim guy who now wants no part in either of their lives because he says his familywill disown him , how can he justify that when he has already betrayed them . Can't get my head round this ,

British courts will probably

British courts will probably support you if you have evidence. You are not muslim and are under no obligation to raise her to be Muslim especially if she does not want to be. 

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